My Fitness Struggle

It all began in 2008, 2 years after college. I was trying out for New England Patriots Cheerleading and decided I needed to hire a personal trainer. Before this I was always naturally on the more fit side and could eat whatever I wanted (see top pictures above) but I was always active: dancing, cheerleading, figure skating, walking everywhere in college. I had put on a few extra pounds since college but was still slim. I believe I suffer from a mild case of body dysmorphia for as long as I can recall (feeling "fat" at age 7 is probably unusual). So me rating my body composition is and always has been difficult for me.

Anyway, back to 2008 when I hired the trainer. I finally started weightlifting and interval training with great results. I still wasn't sure what to eat to get fit. I worked out off and on up until preparing for my wedding in 2011 (to that personal trainer I had hired).

During wedding prep. I ran 6 miles a day, did weight training, and seriously cut calories (chicken, zucchini, and salad anyone?). I looked amazing for the wedding and honeymoon, but of course I always think I could have been more fit. Needless to say when I went on the honeymoon I gained 10 lbs (rum punch and dessert every night is a killer). When we came back from the honeymoon I was busy moving, starting a new job, babysitting, and waitressing. I didn't have much time to workout. In the spring of 2012 I somehow stumbled upon fitness model Jaime Eason and Oxygen Magazine. I followed Jaime Eason's 12 week trainer on bodybuilding.com. That summer I was in the best shape ever. My arms and legs were toned and I felt amazing. But I started getting sick every other week with flu symptoms. This really interfered with my workouts and healthy eating. Finally 2 yeas later I was diagnosed with allergies (to everything!). In 2014 I joined Instagram as part of Amanda Adams #aaback2school. Fitness was still an off and on struggle as I was still getting sick. I was not feeling good about my body when looking at pictures and in January 2016 I signed up for the Bodybuilding.com $250K Transformation Challenge. I did great with this challenge up until about January 2017 when I had sinus surgery (finally relief from constantly feeling sick).

Then life got in the way again. I changed jobs and was working 12+ hours a day and on call 24 hours a day. I started eating Dunkin Donuts everyday, because "treat yo self". I found a new job in August that would give me more work/life balance. I started working out again and taking spin class. Then all the yummy fall and holiday foods began and of course my AMAZING pregnancy.

With this pregnancy came an overwhelming fear of losing the baby. All I did was go to work, come home, and sleep or zone out on t.v. I had an irrational fear that working out would cause a miscarriage. I didn't work out all until we go to hear the heartbeat. Even now I still get nervous about working out. Miraculously I have managed to only gain 29 lbs without really working out and eating whatever I want.

This is my lifelong struggle with fitness and eating healthy. Do I think "no excuses" is a reality for everyone? NO! I am proof that even with the best intentions and well laid out plans life gets in the way. I am hoping after baby girl arrives that I can obtain my fitness goals. Please join me on this journey to fitness and healthy eating. I am sure it will be messy at times.